People Who Need to Be Bitch-Slapped

Two today:

(1)  Lily Allen, for vomiting out this foul monstrosity: her remake of Keane’s “Everybody’s Changing.”  I give it three bitch-slaps and a roundhouse kick to the face.  What a talentless, insipid twat.  All I can say is, if she messes with the masterpieces of my Rufus, I’m hopping a flight to London and delivering a beatdown.

Here’s the original, which is fabulous and one of my favorite songs of all time, even though it is only a few years old:

(2)  Barack Obama.  Why?  Because socialist, appeasing race-baiters suck.  For that and so many other reasons, King Zero deserves a pop to the noggin and will likely be the only individual appearing on every list of People Who Need to Be Bitch-Slapped.  I give him two bitch-slaps, a double-drop kick, and a slap to the nads.  Well, if he had any.