Fathers, Guard Your Daughters

Went to see Metallica last night, and first things first, let me tell you that it was incredible.  Absolutely incredible.  Blew my freakin’ mind, as well as my vocal cords: I can barely talk today.

I witnessed something else at the show that blew my mind, but in a distinctly non-awesome way. 

I went to the concert with my brother, whose first child–a baby girl–just arrived in September.  On the row right in front of us was a pre-teen girl, her teenage brother, and their dad, who had on a t-shirt with a Proverbs verse on it and was clearly loving and protective enough to be there with his kids, yet cool enough to take them to a Metallica show and do a little bit of rocking out himself.  The girl, who we later found out was 13, looked to me to be about 12.  Short and petite, obviously innocent, flat as a board.  When she first arrived, it flashed through my head that she looked very much like Polly Klaas.

During the show a few times, I noticed that the girl turned her head and was smiling sweetly at someone behind me.  I figured there was a teenage boy back there.

During one of the encore songs, my concentration was disrupted by a cell phone being passed in front of me to the girl, who entered a number on it and then passed it back to a guy on the row right behind me.  Very attractive guy, but I thought, he looks a little too old for her.  At this point, I was paying attention and trying to figure out how old he was–it’s hard to tell sometimes, but I thought he had to be at least 18.  Definitely too old for her.  She was standing in front of me, grinning at her phone and taking a picture of herself, which she sent back to him, and he returned one of himself.  I watched this whole little photo transaction take place, and could see each of their pictures on the other’s phone screen.  Starting to get agitated and disturbed at that point.  The guy and his friend got out of there fast.

The concert ended, and my brother–God bless him–got the dad’s attention and said, “Sir, I have a brand-new daughter, and I just think you should know that a guy back there just got your daughter’s cell phone number, and he has a wristband on so he is definitely over 21.” 

!!!  I had not seen the wristband. 

The dad was shocked, and said to my brother, “She is only 13 years old.”  The girl made a lame attempt to pretend that she didn’t know what my brother was talking about, but she was clearly in for it later (or so I devoutly hope).  My brother leaned over to her and said, “He looks like a douchebag to me.  You shouldn’t talk to a loser like that.”  As I said, God bless him.

What chilled me was that this was done right under her father’s nose.  While he was standing right next to his daughter, whom he obviously loved and wished to protect, a sexual predator got her phone number and a picture of her.  And believe me, this child did not look a day over 12, and could pass for 10 or 11. 

Dads, guard your daughters.  Don’t be afraid to scrutinize their cell phone and computer activity.  And to everyone else: please, please, please be vigilant and don’t be afraid to intrude when you see this type of situation.  If it weren’t for my brother, the dad would’ve never known what was happening. 

Sweet dear Jesus, there is nothing safe or sacred in this world.

Well, Eff You Too.

I just deleted the post I wrote attempting to present an argument for gay civil marriage.  Seen this yet? 

One of many recent, similar incidents. 

You know, I’m not really inclined to support the creation of a new “right”–one that has never existed in all of human history–on behalf of a people who so easily take up the mantle of thuggish oppression as soon as they are given space to do so.  Does anyone (idiots and liars excluded) really think that teams of police would be required to escort gay couples safely out of neighborhoods full of violent Mormons screaming death threats?

By the Way. . .

. . . I am only warming up and waiting for the false messiah to be inaugurated.  Then he will be my primary target.

My goal in life used to be having a fatwa issued against me by the Religion of Pieces.  I still aspire to that goal. but it’s now a close second to being persecuted for speaking against Obama.  I thought no one would ever knock radical Muslims out of the top spot on my enemy list, but Obama, the potential destroyer of all things truly American, has managed the trick nicely.   Traitors trump foreign enemies every time.  Oh, but wait—what am I supposed to say?  Obama might a truly great President (in spite of his stated lifelong beliefs and objectives), so may he lift us all into the light of perfection!

So I’m anxiously awaiting Inauguration Day!  Then, the fun begins.

People Who Need to Be Bitch-Slapped

Two today:

(1)  Lily Allen, for vomiting out this foul monstrosity: her remake of Keane’s “Everybody’s Changing.”  I give it three bitch-slaps and a roundhouse kick to the face.  What a talentless, insipid twat.  All I can say is, if she messes with the masterpieces of my Rufus, I’m hopping a flight to London and delivering a beatdown.

Here’s the original, which is fabulous and one of my favorite songs of all time, even though it is only a few years old:

(2)  Barack Obama.  Why?  Because socialist, appeasing race-baiters suck.  For that and so many other reasons, King Zero deserves a pop to the noggin and will likely be the only individual appearing on every list of People Who Need to Be Bitch-Slapped.  I give him two bitch-slaps, a double-drop kick, and a slap to the nads.  Well, if he had any.

Hey, Thanks! Will Do.

The folks at Investor’s Business Daily–or as I like to think of them, “Dad”–have recommended that we save their handy checklist of the Obamessiah’s many grand promises, for later checking and (this is from me) mocking.

Here are my faves (it was hard to choose), but they’re all howlers:

*  Give a tax break to 95% of Americans.  Most Americans don’t realize that that when Obama says “95%,” he really only means “95% of Americans who don’t own businesses (small or large) or invest in the stock market in any way (including 401ks) or file jointly with a working spouse.” 

*  “If you make under $250,000, you will not see your taxes increase by a single dime.  Not your income taxes, not your payroll taxes, not your capital gains taxes.  Nothing.“  Being a lawyer myself and trained to spot the wily parsings of the morally bereft in my trade, I read this as saying that I won’t be taxed an extra dime, but everything else–pennies, quarters, and thousands and thousands of dollars–well, that’s fair game!

*  Dramatically simplify tax filings so that millions of Americans will be able to do their taxes in less than five minutes.  Again, this requires a bit of knowledge and some reading between the lines: “millions of Americans” will no longer be required to pay the piddling taxes they once did, and many more millions will still be paying zero taxes, so of course their tax filings will be accomplished lickety-split!

*  Give American businesses a $3,000 tax credit for every job they create in the U.S.”   This one is a real side-splitter.  Does anyone really believe that Obamapaloozi Reid will actually give evil corporations tax credits for the thousands of jobs they create each year?  You might as well believe they’ll hand out free flying unicorns.

*  Eliminate oil imports from the Middle East in 10 years.  ORLY?  That’s a helluva task when you’re against domestic drilling, profitable foreign drilling, the coal industry (which is 50% of our nation’s energy supply right there), and nuclear energy.  But wait!  I forgot the flying unicorns we’ll all get for free–they eat negative energy and crap environmentally-friendly rainbows, so maybe this one is doable after all. 

*  Finish the fight against Osama bin Laden and the al-Qaida terrorists.  Just like that, huh?  Well, I guess complete and abject surrender might effect this one pretty quickly. 

*  Demand higher standards and more accountability from our teachers.  Pure comedy, this one.  Where would the Democrats be without the teachers’ unions?

*  Go through the budget, line by line, ending programs we don’t need and making the ones we do need work better and cost less.  The key word here is “need,” and how the meaning of “need” is determined.  I’m guessing that Obamapaloozi Reid will feel that military defense and intelligence programs will not be “needed.”  Great news for our enemies without (Iran, Russia, China, etc.) and within (welfare deadbeats and illegal immigrants).

*  Slash earmarks.  Now, that is just getting ridiculous.

*  Let the uninsured get the same kind of health insurance that members of Congress get.  I.e., health care completely funded by other taxpayers, who will now have to pay double to get the crappy insurance they already have (because of bloated government entitlement programs that drive up the costs of private and employer-funded insurance).